Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
