What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Damn victory sex feels great
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
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