He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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