im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
