Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
