so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
how do you play pong handcuffed?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
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