no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
