I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize