I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
