would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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