and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
