fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Bring me that man meat
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
