Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize
