Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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