Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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