All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
