I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Randomize
