UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I enjoy the company of your penis
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
