so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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