haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
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