if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
