so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
