you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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