Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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