My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize