the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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