me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
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