So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
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