i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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