Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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