Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
