i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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