Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
