Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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