I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
