the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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