I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Randomize