do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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