Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
