Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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