I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
