I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
