The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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