if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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