There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Randomize
