Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
