Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
