Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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