I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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