So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
