I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
My dick has a subreddit
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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