if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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