the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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