i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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