You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize