STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
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