...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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