OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
