I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
