I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I still have a little drunk in my system
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
