that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
