More tranny stories later!
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
