Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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