i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
