don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
