You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
