What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Randomize
