Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
she smelled like a LAN party
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
They took my balls.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
