OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
