hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
