The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
