Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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