Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
