I understand Curling. That high.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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