Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
