yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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