we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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