Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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