So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
